How I manage my moneyI'm 38, divorced, a software developer in Glasgow on £86,000, and I'm investing to work less

I am 38 and I work as a software developer for a logistics company in Glasgow. My salary is £86,000. I got divorced three years ago, which reset my finances more or less to zero.

We sold the flat, split what was left fairly, and I started renting a one-bed in the West End.

Starting again at 35

The divorce was amicable, but it is still expensive to become two households. I had about £18,000 from the flat sale and a pension that had been split as part of the settlement. I also had a strong salary, which I am aware a lot of people in my position do not.

I spent the first year doing nothing clever. I kept the money in a cash account, paid my rent, and tried to work out what I actually wanted.

It turned out that what I wanted was not a bigger house. It was a four-day week.

What I earn and what I spend

After tax and pension, I take home about £4,300 a month. Scottish income tax bands are different from the rest of the UK, and I check my payslip against an online calculator once a year to make sure I understand it.

Rent is £1,150 a month. Bills and council tax are around £260. I spend more on food than I should, and I go back to Edinburgh most weekends to see my daughter, which costs me roughly £150 a month in train fares and days out.

Investing

I invest £1,000 a month into a stocks and shares ISA, split across a couple of global index funds. I do not pick individual companies and I try very hard not to look at it more than once a month.

Some months it falls. I have watched it drop by several thousand pounds in a week. I don't enjoy that, but I only invest money I will not need for at least ten years.

The tax trap I missed

Last year a pay rise took me close to £100,000 with a bonus. I did not realise that above that level you gradually lose your tax-free personal allowance. A colleague mentioned it in passing.

I increased my pension contribution through salary sacrifice, which brought my taxable income back down. I now pay 12% of salary into my pension. I checked how this worked on HMRC's own guidance before changing anything, and I would suggest anyone near that line does the same or speaks to a regulated adviser.

I am not trying to retire at 45. I am trying to make sure I can say no to things.

The goal

My target is to drop to four days a week by the time I am 42. That means a 20% pay cut. I want to have enough invested, and my spending steady enough, that it does not frighten me.

What I'd tell someone recently divorced

Do nothing for a while. Get the basics stable. Understand your new tax position, especially if you now pay child maintenance or have a different pension. And decide what you want your money to buy you before you decide how to invest it.